WTF, over?

Just prior to the beginning of the year, the Pastor for my church invited all to read through the Bible in a year. There are weekly meetings to discuss our readings, and a detailed schedule to follow so everyone is on the same page, so to speak. The S.O. and I thought this would be a good thing to do. We would be able to have meaningful discussions about our readings as we ventured through the Word together.

The year is almost halfway over now, and the S.O. bailed on the Bible program two months ago leaving me to draw my own conclusions. (She still finds time for Criminal Minds tho) The point, however, is that I embarked on this venture as a path to deepen my convictions and my faith, to really learn about Christianity and the roots of my religion. Now, mind you, I have read the entire New Testament, and bits and pieces of the Old, but never actually went through chapter and verse, all the way. What I am learning so far is more scary than enriching. The things I hear my fellow Bible Students say are just as disturbing.

The God of the O.T. is inexplicable at best; kind and loving in one instance, vicious and unforgiving in the next. I am confused by what appears to me to be competitions amongst the Gods, examples of rogue Gods who seem to be trying to set up shop to vie for the adoration and sacrifices of us mere mortals and commands to 'devote to destruction' indigenous peoples that go beyond genocide. Violent stuff that is in total opposition to what I had had come to believe is the Christian way. WTF, over?

People meet God one day and are given instructions, then meet God again soon after and God seems to have forgotten what He originally asked of them. Time and time again there are episodes where God appears to take vacations, ceasing to respond or outright forgetting about humanity, only to show up again in a hundred years, recharged and ready to go some more. Again I say, WTF, over?

If my neighbor was sacrificing animals on an altar in the backyard, or even in some secluded temple, splashing blood on the altar, harvesting organs and burning flesh, well, I'd be concerned. Yet this was de rigeur back in the day. Required. Don't leave home without it. Wouldn't we be mumbling words like 'pagan' and 'satanic' and 'cult'? Many of our Churches still have Altars, remnants, I guess.

One of my classmates asked if the reason we had illness in the world wasn't because of the sinful character of man. Didn't we bring these miseries on ourselves because we are so wicked? Which, of course, opened up the discussion about why God allows pain and suffering; why God lets babies die and lets children get Leukemia and lets there be wars and lets the Muslim Extremists destroy good Christians. Whose side is He on anyway? If He won't save our children and our American Way of Life, what good is he? Again, WTF, over?

Maybe the answers are in the next chapter, ya think?