What Happens in Vegas Comes Home

Ever been to Las Vegas? I got married there, but I only visit often enough to be really aware of the changes. The new casinos on The Strip in particular. In case you don't know, 'The Strip' refers to Las Vegas Boulevard, a six to ten lane wide surface street that is lined with casinos and shops on both sides, as opposed to 'Downtown' Las Vegas where many of the older casinos are found.

The Strip has been the site of much of the new construction during the last 25 years because there is plenty of room to build these huge casino complexes and, as everyone knows, The Strip is where all the action is.

What strikes me about 'Glitter Gulch' is how much money has been spent, presumably to draw me here and give me an opportunity 'win' lots of money. As I walk along the strip at night, the sights which greet me almost defy description. I don't know how many millions of light bulbs, or how many miles of neon tubes are stretched out in this magnificent and gaudy display, but the numbers, if actually known, must be staggering.

The only thing as amazing as the casino light displays are the people walking the strip. I have never seen a more diverse cacophony of human condition anywhere. High society meets seamy depravity seamlessly on the streets of Las Vegas. Quarter-million dollar Lamborghini's are parked near casino entrances while 75 feet away, dark skinned Latinos are gathered in clusters on the sidewalk, clucking and snapping and trying to hand passers-by playing card sized advertisements for prostitutes. Are you a dad walking with your family? They will try to put a card in your hand. At least they aren't giving them to the kids......yet. But then, of course, downstream from the hawkers, the sidewalk is littered with these discarded mini-billboards. full color photo included. It's sad.

Perhaps much of this is due to the rise of American Indian Gaming across America. It wasn't really that long ago that Nevada was the only game in town in this country. If you wanted legal gambling you came here. Then the casinos in Atlantic City arose to capture the dollars that were going off-shore from the East Coast, and the give the folks that can't afford to travel West the same gaming opportunities as the people on the Left Coast. Now that Indian Gaming has pretty much spread throughout the country, Las Vegas has been left with no choice but to go way over the top to attract the bucks. It is more 'theme park' than anything else.

In the early days, the casinos worked hard to encourage visitors. Rooms were very reasonably priced, food was good, plentiful and cheap. Shows in the evening were not as extravagant, but not nearly so expensive, either. Ahhhh, for the good old days!

Now Vegas is an exercise in non-reality. Overkill for the senses to the nth degree and all of it thin shelled illusion, very convincing, to be sure, but illusion none the less. From the false-fronted New York, New York to the 'roller coaster in space' Stratosphere, Las Vegas is a huge stage, and from the moment you arrive until the second you leave, you are an actor in a 24/7/365 play whose only plot is making your purse as much lighter as possible.

There are two distinct worlds here. The front, or outside; the constant carnival the marks see, and backstage; the pumps and motors of the the water extravaganzas, the casino security, a thousand restaurant kitchens and laundries, the people and facilities to accommodate untold numbers of conventions and conventioneers.

Even Vegas weddings are part of the machine. I mentioned that I married in Las Vegas (it is still a go, BTW); my blushing bride and I were whisked by limo from our hotel to City Hall for our Wedding License, where the female half of the couple in line behind us was clad in a gorgeous blue bikini with matching wedding veil, then off to the famous 'Chapel of the Bells' where, following the service, the fella who married us reached down below the podium behind which he stood and came up with an audio cassette tape which he handed to my new wife saying, "Tomorrow morning, if he says he didn't, you now have proof that he did." Yep, pure essence of Las Vegas.

Is it fun? Hell, yes! Suspend your disbelief for a day or a weekend. Treat it like the amusement park that it is. There really is some amazing stuff to be found. Will you go home with more money than you brought? Possibly, but not very damn likely. That isn't in the script, you see. What really 'Stays in Vegas' is your money.