I think it will always hurt

I am angry, and I don't know what to do with my anger and my hurt, so I'll write about it.

A while back, on a Saturday night, a man killed my eighteen year old cousin.

I am angry at him.

He had been drinking, as apparently was his habit.

I am angry at alcohol and alcoholism.

This man had been picked up in a bar by my cousin's mom several weeks earlier. She brought him to her house and laid him, a one night stand.

I am angry at her.

He came back for seconds but my Aunt wasn't home, so thought he'd try to score with my cousin. She let him in, but refused his advances.

I am angry with her for letting him inside the house.

When she turned him down, he beat her, knocked her down, and shot her twice in the back. Shot her in the back as she lay helpless on the floor of her own home, killing her, a college freshman with her entire life ahead of her.

She was happy, healthy, pretty and smart.

The police caught him, thanks to another man with a conscience who had heard the killer bragging about the score he was going to make with this freshman girl, coupled with the killer's own gross stupidity in covering his tracks.

He was sentenced to 30 years in prison for this cold-blooded murder. I am aware of two appeals he made. Each time, his appeal was based alleged procedural errors on the part of the investigators and the court, and violations of his 'rights'.

His rights....Where is her chance to appeal her death sentence? What about her rights?

I am angry.

Each time, his appeal was rejected, his conviction and sentence confirmed. He did not appeal his conviction by claiming his innocence. He wanted out on a technicality. Thank God for no-nonsense Southern Justice.

This occurred more than thirty years ago. An anniversary of her death is little more than a week away. It hurts today every bit as much as it did when it happened. I hope he died in prison and rots in hell.

Perhaps you can tell, I am still angry.